the reality of a road trip.

A few weeks ago, I drove from Charlotte, NC to Denver, CO with one of the best people I know, Jennie. When I originally imagined myself on a road trip across America, the montage in my head was pretty glamorous. But like most things in life, expectations and reality don't usually match up. Don't get me wrong, we had a great time. But it's 24 hrs+ in the car... you're not going to like everything that happens while you're trapped in there.

EXPECTATION: 

-Cute outfits, so I would obviously look GREAT in all of the pictures we took as we crossed the country. Every day it would just be a battle about whether to Instagram a great picture of myself look trendy and fresh OR a super cool artsy wall/mural/skyline.

-Each day would feel short and exciting, it's only 8 hours a day, right?!

-Eating in some of America's best restaurants, taking beautiful Instagram pictures that no one would like but myself, Jennie, and my mom. 

-Lots and lots of singing and laughing in the car. 

-Spontaneously pulling off the beaten path to discover some new natural wonder. 

REALITY:

-Dirty clothes. Definitely no freshness in feeling or in looks. One half of the road trip team wore the same t-shirt every day (not going to say any names, but there is photographic evidence). 

-8 hours is enough to drive you CRAZY. You will decide that you hate certain states (Missouri) just because you feel like being a grouch. And your whole body is sore. The fear of blood clots is real, people. 

-We made peanut butter & banana sandwiches on the trunk of my car everyday- which we actually kind of loved.  

-Yes to the laughing and the singing (mostly Sam Smith). But also Yes to crying as you listen to audiobooks that you won't finish. 

-There is no such thing as spontaneity on I-70 in Kansas. The end.

PB&B, how I love thee

Brewster, KS- Just imagine a tumbleweed rolling across her feet.

SOME GREAT THINGS THAT DID HAPPEN:

BurgerUp- Take me back, please.

Songwriter Night at Bluebird Cafe...

...followed by standing on a bridge to watch a One Direction concert for free. High or Low? Still can't decide. 

Kansas City, MO is beautiful!

Even now, looking back at that crazy week in the car and in random cities across the US, we made some pretty good memories. Especially in Tennessee, because the momentum was full force. We were exhausted when we arrived in St. Louis, so by the time we got to Denver everything felt a little bit strange. I think we are only starting to get over the feeling that we should be loading my Honda back up and heading back towards the East Coast. I think as time goes on, Jennie and I will appreciate even more the ridiculous things that happened in those 5 days. 

Jennie practicing her method art in Kansas City. 

The West is beautiful. The Rocky Mountains seem to randomly jump out at you at the right time when you start to get frustrated on the interstate or you will catch a glorious peek of them through the skyscrapers downtown. I haven't had time to fully explore all CO has to offer yet, but I am looking forward to that surreal feeling of peace you get when you're surrounded by the mountains and nothing else. We went to Red Rocks and I remembered how much bigger the world is than the one I've tried to create for myself. I'm still getting used to being 1,252 miles from an ocean, but that is a whole other issue.

Red Rocks Park, Golden, CO

Right now, the plan is to be here until Christmas while I intern at Denver Rescue Mission. I love my internship with Champa House and the wonderful, beautiful women and children that I get to be with everyday. My summer in Chicago last year was a great introduction into Urban Ministry and after that glorious summer, I wanted to see what it would look like to be involved in this kind of ministry long term. I am so grateful for this time to learn and grow and better understand the passions/gifts/dreams that the Lord has instilled in me so that I can fully serve others. It's been an interesting journey to see how you have almost a new lens once you graduate. Like you can see how part of your dreams were being lived out in the past four years and now the struggle is bringing them to a graduated world. I don't how to use those dreams- the ones that involve community, discipleship, and creativity- will look like come December but all that matters is that I am faithful to where he has me now.

God is accomplishing a thousand tiny purposes at any given moment around us. There is only so much we can know, but we can leave the stuff we can't know to God and believe he has it all worked out. It may feel quiet, and we possibly even feel forgotten, but God is moving to work out his plans all around us.

-Jennie Allen, Restless 

no man is an island

I started writing this while I was in Bray over a month ago. Even though I'm now back in Boone, I figured I'd go ahead and post this because no one really reads this blog anyways :) 

A few weeks before I took off, I found out that I would be coming to Bray. I was disappointed that the other girl wasn't able to come, but I then began to romanticize this idea of me being in Ireland alone. I imagined my walking down cobblestone streets, meeting friendly men while I was walking in the mountains (I've watched P.S. I Love You too many times), and charming all these Irish people to take me in to their cottages for some potatoes.

But the reality is that after being in the country for thirty minutes, I was lonely. I had spent almost a whole day waiting in airports or being on a plane, and then I was wandering around Dublin before the sun rose wondering what the heck I was doing. I didn't mind so much being lost, but I just wanted someone to laugh about it with. I had my wonderful weekend with Amber and Laura and then they left and I got on a train and I was alone again. Everyone was so friendly and kind to me that first week, but I would leave school and have no idea what to do. My host family is extremely generous and we have great fun together, but I had these empty hours. Even though Ireland isn't exactly alien, I still constantly felt misunderstood or invisible. I felt like I was holding my breath around everyone. 

Af first this idea seemed really cool to me, than it just seemed depressing :) 

I traveled alone again to London and had another wonderful weekend with my sister and her friends, but then I returned to Bray and felt isolated once again. I couldn't believe that I had four more weeks here. I didn't want to admit defeat to anyone by saying I wanted to go home, but home just seemed so warm and comfortable. Add on to this all the failed attempts to meet up with some girls from App that were only a few miles away, and I just felt desperate.

I didn't want to pray about it either. I didn't want other people to be praying for me. I just wanted to fix it myself and be fine. I didn't want to need people or ask people for help. 

But thankfully I have people in my life who do pray for me, who encourage me, and who know me really well, and still love me somehow.

I like doing things by myself. Grocery shopping. Movies. Long drives.

But more important than adventure, stamps on your passport, Instagram likes, and beautiful places is people. I used to be intimidated by other people, but then I realized how much we all need each other.  Now that I know what that means, it's easier to see people for all the beauty that they are.

It's easy to make life about what I'm going to do next. Where am I going to live. How many miles can I get away from Huntersville, NC.

The problem with all of these questions is my motive. I wish I would stop looking at a map and start being more concerned about calling. Not where is the Lord calling me to do, but how can I use my gifts and passions to the fullest extent in order to glorify God.

Flash forward seven weeks. I'm sitting in Espresso News, trying to type up lesson plans so I can actually graduate college. I still have no idea what is next. I feel like I don't even know what the possibilities are, but I know that my worth isn't determined by where I end up.

I miss Ireland. I miss the sweet people. The jokes of older men with their rosy cheeks. I miss big bowls of soup with brown bread. Large cups of tea with scones after school. I miss walking everywhere and breathing in the fresh air to and from school.  The wild beauty of the Wicklow Mountains. I miss trains. I miss the beautiful buildings of London and the wonder of the city. I miss seeing my sister almost every weekend and talking whenever because we are in the same time zone.

When people ask "How was Ireland?!" I either say "Such a great experience. Wow. Just so good." or "I mean I was alone, so...." and then I try to explain how something can be terribly lonely but also exactly what I needed.

The unknown is scary. Whether that is the a new place where everyone is a stranger or sitting in your apartment with your best friends, not quite sure where to go after you move out in a month. But the more I realize that I have no control and that life isn't smooth edges and postcard images, I can focus on the only constant- which is Christ. I waver. I change my mind. I can't make a decision about dinner, let alone what to pursue after college. But I don't walk in fear as much anymore, because his consistency means that I don't have to try so hard to walk in straight, set ahead path. No matter what choices I make, no matter what place I live in, or the friends I have- the only thing I can know for sure is that he wants to know me. And the only choice I have that really matters, is will I trust him enough to know him too.

How to Come Home (For Beginners):

STEP ONE: WEEP

-Cry when you are packing your bags

-Cry a lot when you are saying goodbye to one of your favorite people at the airport and then it all feels real

-Cry when you see your best friend from home because you don't really know what else to do

-Don't cry for a week because your summer feels like it actually didn't happen to you and you don't want to talk about it

-Cry a week later when you finally watch the slideshow shown on the final night. Then be angry with God and tell Him that  He doesn't know what He is doing because you were really happy and now you're not sure what to do. 

Then read this:

God seems to plant His saints in the most useless places. And then we say "God intends for me to be here because I am so useful to Him." Yet Jesus never measured His life by how or where He was of the greatest use. God places His saints where they will bring the most glory to Him, and we are totally incapable of judging where that might be. Oswald Chambers, My Utmost for His Highest

And this:

Crying is all right in its own way while it lasts. But you have to stop sooner or later, and then you still have to decide what to do. C.S. Lewis

Needless to say, I've never had to come home before. I've never had to leave a new place that has become home and leave strangers who have become family. 

It's more difficult than I thought it would be, and honestly I'm not very good at it. 

This isn't to say that I am completely miserable being back or that I haven't had valuable time with my people here because they are too good to my moody self, but it's a weird transition. There is so much I could share about what the Lord has done this summer, but he's still teaching me how to talk about it.

If you supported me at all this summer in prayer or financially or in encouragement, I am eternally grateful for you. God is using people in Chicago to show the love of Christ to that beautiful city, so keep them in your prayers still! I hope to use this blog to still share some of their stories because they re worth hearing. 

THANK YOU!

a wonderful, wonderful week.

What? Two posts in one week. Crazy, I know. But last week was quite possibly one of the best weeks of my life and I should probably write about good things as they come along. I feel like there weren't any ridiculous, extravagant moments in the week, but it was just solid. Here's why.

Sunday started the week off right at a Cubs game. I'm not really that into sports, but baseball games are FUN. Not in the overwhelming kind of way, but in the I'm-going-to-sit-outside-for-a-couple-hours-and- half-heartedly-watch-this-while-talking-to-friends kind of way. And I had a Chicago Dog which was delicious. It was a very American experience.

Perfect Chicago Dog: Poppyseed bun, fresh tomato, relish, peppers, grilled onions. NO KETCHUP.

....and the Cubs won!

This past week my team had the opportunity to serve alongside Bethel House of Prayer as they started off four weeks of VBS. I think VBS is a great way to not only serve the children in your congregation, but provide affordable childcare for everyone in your community. It brings in such a diverse group!

I   L O V E D my group of girls. My teammate, Jessica, and I worked with Primary Girls age six to eight. The first day I was unsure of what to do with all that personality. We went around the table introducing ourselves and saying what we liked to do. Here are some prime examples:

"I'm Serenity and I like to walk the runway." (Poses)

"I'm Jada and I'm a diva."
(Pretends to check her reflection.)

And when one of the leaders, DD, said she liked to shop, a girl responded "You go honey-boo-boo child." Three or four times.

But as the day and week wore on, the sass act quickly wore off to reveal the sweetest and funniest kids. They loved to sing for us (mostly gospel songs and disney) and draw us sweet cards. Everyday I got lots of hugs and big smiles. Everyday was better than the one before.

Yva knows she is cute.

Jessica and I were subbing in for an absent teacher so we got to teach the Bible lessons. It was so fun hearing what they thought about verses and talking to them about Jesus. Especially as the week goes on. You just love them so much that you want them to have a relationship with Christ and to grow up knowing him.

On Thursday, we took a field trip to the park. I was worried the day would drag on, but they are pretty easy to please. I'm telling you, these girls are the best. When they have to wait, they were always patient and loved to talk to each other instead of complaining. However, they did tell me on the two block walk home that their legs were going to fall off. I had no sympathy...

It was really tough to leave on Friday. My hardest goodbye was Shiniya. She was so quiet at the beginning of the week and my goal was for her to open up. Jessica and I gave her lots of attention, and by the end of the week she was dancing and joking and laughing with us. Her laugh was my favorite because it sounded too big to come from her little body and it took over her face.

Shiniya & I

When it was time to go, she hugged me really tight around my neck and I spun her around, but when I put her down she wouldn't move her arms. It was all I could do not to straight up weep when she told me in her quiet voice that she didn't want me to leave.

"This sign means deuces." Thanks, girl. 

"Let me take the picture!"

When the three year old takes over the camera.

I miss these kids a lot already. Please pray for them and the other team that gets to serve at the Bethel VBS this week. And for my team as we get to serve at the Pui Tak Center!

Other great things that happened this week:

COW APPRECIATION DAY.
Should really be a National Holiday. We left home at 6:15 am to get some free chicken before we had to be at our sites. When we first arrived, no one knew it was Cow Appreciation, including most of the employees. People were really amazed by us and random customers were taking our picture. And THERE WAS NO CHICKEN. I sat there like a cow for a while until I was able to order.

Eventually, we got our chicken biscuits and all was well.

Anything for the free chicken.

 

 BEAUTIFUL WARM WEATHER.

On Saturday morning, we handed out water bottles at the Taste of Chicago and got to meet lots of cool people and have solid conversations. For dinner we ate some really good tacos in Wicker Park and walked along the Magnificent Mile. The weather was GLORIOUS and Chicago was really showing off how pretty she is.

I have two and half weeks left here and that's too hard to think about right now. On Thursday, I briefly go home for a Teaching Fellows Conference and so my time has been shortened even more. However, there is still a lot of time left for wonderful things to happen! I hope your week gets off to a great start!

BOOK RECOMMENDATIONS:

Same Kind of Different as Me by Ron Hall and Denver Moore 

The Pursuit of God by A.W. Tozer

ready.

I have left North Carolina.

I have never been out of the Carolinas for more than ten days in my whole life, and now I'm starting nine weeks of life elsewhere. I thought I would feel more nervous about going to a place where I don't know anyone. I thought I would feel anxious about the months ahead where I will be doing unfamiliar work. But instead, I feel completely and beautifully at peace. I don't think I have felt this much like myself in a while.

Genuinely calm and happy.

I'm excited to learn about a world completely different than my own, even though we live in the same country. People have been very encouraging about my summer, but people also aren't afraid to share how scary and humid Chicago is. However, I have to remind myself that this isn't about me exploring  an unfamiliar city, but answering a call.

He executes justice for the fatherless and the widow, and loves the sojourner, giving him food and clothing. Deuteronomy 10:18

I'm anticipating the point where I feel lonely and helpless and all I have is Jesus. The situations where I won't have the words, and the Spirit will have to provide. I know that I will working with a team and we all be serving together, and I'm looking forward to all the new friendships.

However, I tend to struggle when there are no familiar faces. I freeze up and don't know how to speak. Without all my family and the constant companionship of my friends, it's me and Jesus. And I really desire that, to be closer to Him because I don't have the safety net of my consistent relationships. This is one of those things that can be taken as hokey and cheesy because "Jesus is my Best Friend" can be seen on t-shirts and cross-stitched onto pillows, but it's real. He is the one that comforts me. The one who whispers encouragement when I'm at my breaking point. It always catches me off guard, how much He actually loves me.

My mom and sister decided to drive me to Chicago, since none of us have been before. Yesterday we made our way through the rainy Tennessee hills, feeling a little bit like storm chasers. Our first stop is Nashville, TN to visit my Great Uncle and be tourists. I haven't been to Nashville since I was a 15 year old girl whose only interest was the mall :)

Amber was convinced we desperately needed a hashtag for our road trip. So we decided on #nowaynenorules. Finally, we are breaking free from Wayne's World. (No offense, Dad...) Our trip will probably consist of lots of coffee, ridiculous conversations, and getting lost. I sure do love them. They've earned it too, always putting up with me.

// The Frothy Monkey: So. Good. //

what a Good Friday.

Today was one of those sweet days where you realize near the end how wonderfully you spent your time. I talked hiked some trails, ate good food, and listened to some wonderful music- all with beautiful people. Just all around solid.

Songs of Water at Harvest House

God made a whole beautiful earth and decided to put you in it, to experience all of this beauty. You can't do that watching television all the time.- Donald Miller

Watch this if you want to rejoice (and maybe a cry a little...) about the greatness of what happened when God came to Earth. 

an obsession with sea salt.

I have always loved baking and cooking and discovering new recipes. When I'm cooking, I always try to find the best seasonings to make my food spicy hot or give anything a more distinct taste. Then I tried a chocolate brownie with sea salt and it was a GAME. CHANGER.

I became obsessed with sea salt.

Every recipe, whether it was dessert or dinner, was given a pinch of sea salt. It brings out the flavor without completely turning it in to something else. The coarser the salt the better. Its ended up in soups, puddings, vegetables, ice cream. My sweet friend Ashley B is often with me when I'm making my messes and would point out my consistent use of the stuff. So I started pointing it out too. 

Always with sea salt, I would say.

She told me it would be a great blog name and I thought she was wrong. And I had already decided that I would never have a blog.

Then I applied and was accepted to go to Chicago, IL this summer with Here's Life Inner City. I wanted to have a place where I could share what God was doing and all that, and I knew that a blog was the best place for it all. This was the only name that kept coming back to me.

I was extremely hesitant to use it because it sounds like a little cooking blog and I'm not really qualified to make one of those (which doesn't mean I won't try...), but then I remembered Jesus's words in Matthew:

You are the salt of the earth. But what good is salt if it has lost its flavor? Can you make it salty again? It will be thrown out and trampled underfoot as worthless. You are the light of the world-like a city on a hilltop that cannot be hidden.

Matthew 5:13-14

 Salt draws out the subtle good flavors in food and preserves what would otherwise spoil (The Voice Bible). The Message translates it as Jesus saying we are here to bring out the God-flavors of the earth.

What would it look like to bring out the flavors of God? To let the Lord use you to show:

His beauty

His goodness

His love for justice

His wisdom

His truthfulness

What would my daily life be like? How would this help me actively communicate with God? How would I treat all of His kids? How would this help me cultivate thankfulness?

So I decided that yes, the name is appropriate. I don't want a life that is bland and lacks meaning. I want each day to be filled with little adventures. I want to create because I'm able. I want to be bold and honest. I want to be selfless and loving. I want a life of beauty, prayer, drive, generosity, faith, joy, purpose, and flavor. 

Here is my humble attempt!

Clearwater, FL 

Emily and Me

SB2K13

P.S. This doesn't mean I won't take the flavor part literally sometimes. I love feeding other people and myself tasty things, and I don't think Instagram cares...  and at least here I will be less aware of social media's approval ;)